another grading period material has
been sent off to be graded. evaluated.
i don’t agree
eyelids spasm fighting to stay open.
fighting bright light from the screen.
must compute, memorize, regurgitate
information. must. must. must. must.
not enough time. too much to do. dreams
spaceon hold for bigger dreams to realize. university.
spacessometimes i wonder. what’s it all for? is
spit really necessary now? maybe i
spacshould take a break. to see the
spacespacworld. to travel. maybe i will regret it later. maybe i
spacespshould invest in work experience instead. but no.
spacethis is what i want to do. spacespac
spaci want to study. to learn.space
spacto absorb. to know. sp
spcto write. to read.
spacespto listen. to compute.
spaspacmemorize. even to
so financial aid applications are filled out.
choices made. spacespacespacespacescpa
questions asked. overanalyzing. worrying.
wringing of hands. nervous eating. nom. n
essays. career goals. extracurriculars.more!
gpa’s. money. spacespacespacespacespace
numbers. 100. spacespacespacespacespace
98. 97. 96. 95.spacespacespacespacespace
scholarship requirements. spacespacespace
new adjustments. seven hours of sleep. this
is all new for me. new territory. brand-new.
so sometimes i curl up in daddy’s lap. isp
like to pretend i still fit. rest my head on his
chest. hear his heart- beat like I usedp
to do as a newborn. eight monthss
old. always rushing. never could letssdspce
e things simply be. always overspsp
thinking. when will i ever learn?sps
pope. defoe. dryden. steele. blackstone.
johnson. boswell. wealth of nations. s
smith. jargon. gobbledygook. ss
argumentative essays. critical book s
reviews. i want this. so i will write, sss
read, listen, compute, memorize, and regurgitate
information. i will do my best. i will do it all. every-daya
thing. just one more month. and i can do it. bu
spyet i’ll have you know. growing up kinda stinks.
(This was actually quite fun to write. 🙂