Somebody to Love: Could there be someone for me at church?

“I can’t imagine myself with someone from church.”

“There’s no one for me in the church.”

“Where could my love be?”

These aren’t uncommon questions and affirmations made by young women who, when thinking about the near future, don’t see it quite so near and wonder if it really ever will arrive. This concern arises in the hearts of many, even if it is unspoken. They wonder: “When will love finally knock on my door?” Well, if you are hoping for this blessing from God, waiting and praying for the love of your life, don’t despair, your moment will come.

And if you aren’t praying for God to guide your relationships in life—present and future—what are you waiting for? If you are open to a relationship at this point, if it is something you would like in the future, you need to pray a lot more before making that important choice. Pray that God will clear your thoughts and help you to see beyond the superficial so that you will allow yourself to meet someone, because, just maybe, “Mr. Right” won’t be anyone on your list of perfect people to date or marry. But know that finding true love requires a search for something beyond what you can see.

“If men and women are in the habit of praying twice a day before they contemplate marriage, they should pray four times a day when such a step is anticipated. Marriage is something that will influence and affect your life, both in this world and in the world to come.”

Letters to Young Lovers, p. 40

You will need a lot of prayers, a lot! So, if you haven’t been praying much, the advice is to start now, so you will know how to discern what will be good for you when the time comes. Many are looking for fun or are not sure what they want, others just want company and have no plans for the future. Many others still forget or ignore God’s counsel on matters as serious as courtship and marriage.

There’s no one for me at church

Let’s think about this for a moment. Do you mean in personality, or have you created an ideal of a perfect man, written a long list of characteristics, and created a million expectations that no man around you has managed to fulfill to this day? This may not be your case, but it’s worth considering what is essential in a person. For many, physical attraction is the main focus. Of course, you want to talk to someone whose appearance is pleasing to your eyes. But if the man on your wishlist is tall, dark, handsome with brooding eyes, and when, looking around you haven’t seen him at church, you decide it must be true that there is no one for you at church, you may be missing out on getting to know someone with whom you could be very happy.

A person’s inner being can attract you if you are open to that possibility, setting aside superficial expectations, and allowing something deeper to be your motivation when choosing someone. Superfluous reasons can cause you to miss opportunities that could have become a beautiful experience of true love.

“A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.”

Maya Angelou

Wait for and expect a man who reflects the character of God, someone who is looking for the same things as you. That leads us to an essential question in this process. Who are you? What are others seeing in you? Is how you present yourself facilitating or hindering the vision of those who are looking for a love that you can offer?

Have you ever been misjudged? I believe that you are a great person, full of good intentions even if some don’t realize it when they meet you. You may have done this to someone else too. Have you ever considered that?

It’s interesting how appearances and first impressions that we don’t mean to give, come across. How important they can be in the perspective of others. It seems complicated at times. Many believe that the path to love is a game of luck, but the path to love, when you put God first, is a guarantee of success. No matter how long it takes, you will win the best gift in the end. Be happy alone before you find someone, so that your happiness will only add to each other’s joy instead of depending on someone else for your happiness. May you each add to the other’s life, and thus together be able to share the fullness that God has granted to each of you.

Just Sit Here Waiting…?

Come ever closer to God, and you will be prepared to find love at the right time. There is someone waiting to meet a woman just like you. Maybe they live nearby or far away, but they’re also waiting. So while you pray, prepare yourself, and enjoy your life during this waiting phase. This moment in life is also very special. In God’s time, everything will fall into place. In the meantime, focus on yourself, and take the chance to improve, grow as a person, take this opportunity now. This time isn’t just about praying and hoping for a blessing, but it’s also a chance to become a blessing for someone who is also waiting, hoping, and praying for you.

When we look to Jesus and try to reflect His image, He writes us a beautiful story we could never imagine. Attend the campmeetings, conferences, and events that your church promotes. Participate, don’t hide, talk to people, make friends, and sooner or later it will be inevitable, your blessing will arrive! Don’t be anxious or worried about what is to come or when. God’s time for each of His daughters is different. Being single is a wonderful phase too, enjoy it.

If you want a happy and blessed marriage in the future, look for love in the heart of a man who loves God. A man like that will love you in the way you deserve to be loved.